March 13, 2009
I keep getting asked this over and over again at work. I'm a cashier and I see a lot of people in a day and lately I keep getting asked this horribly embarrassing question. I AM NOT PREGNANT! I just have weight on my stomach and I have scoliosis, a curvature of the spine which sticks my belly out even when I'm not overweight.And it's just so unfair, I don't own a car, so I ride my bike everywhere, this year (2009) I haven't had a drop of alcohol, a HUGE sacrifice for me, I'm vegetarian, I eat right, and I work out.....I just haven't lost weight on my mid-section yet. I'm leaving no stone unturned in my personal quest to a flatter stomach...but still every week some insensitive dick asks me."When are you due?"
I just want to cry, because if I say anything to them I look like the a---- . So, what is the most polite answer? I've tried reading Miss Manners and I'm just not sure what the most sensitive way for me to get out of this inevitable question is.
And I don't want to be rude back because it doesn't make me feel any better, I still just want to run and cry somewhere.
-I've tried just cold staring them down, but the people who would ask such a rude question to begin with, are usually not very bright and so just repeat the question thinking I haven't heard them.
-I've said "No, I'm not pregnant." To which I've heard, "Are you sure?"
-I've been asked ,"When are you due?" To which I've said ,"You know there's a Barnes and Nobles right next door where I'm sure you could go by a book on etiquette." But I still felt so tremble-y afterward that it was hard to keep ringing him up.
-I've said," f--- off, when are you due?" But still felt like crying.
The worst part is I have to keep ringing them up, standing there in this awful pregnant pause with someone too stupid to realize they've insulted me.
[What also AMAZES me is that only 2 people have ever apologized. Most of the people just keep talking, imitating how my shirt pokes out, or telling me stories about how they lost their weight!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, you just called me fat so you can brag about how skinny YOU are?!?!?!
And I have lost weight this year, that's the thing of it! Just not enough. I should put more weight on just so people know I'm fat and not pregnant. (but I'm not going to do that)
One woman asked me when I was due and immediately the adrenaline rush drained everything from my brain. I just stared at her, and she looked at me again and said, "Any day know?"
b---- thought I looked 9 MONTHS PREGNANT?!?! WTF!!!!!!!! I am so not that big, I'm a size 10. I had to say something, "I'm not pregnant."
So she started to tell me how she lost a lot of weight, and I just told her to stop talking to me. But then she went on talking saying, "People used to ask me that all the time." To which I just looked at her with confused disgust and said, "Well then, it seems like you would be the first to know Never. To. Ask. That. Question."
Nothing more was said after that, just bagged up her crap, but of course her card got declined, then she had a question about a coupon, and about a baseball bat, and she ended up staying there talking to our team sports guy for another 15 minutes. Oh, and she never apologized for offending me.]
p.s. since writing this I've lost 15 pounds (now I weigh 149) and I'm still getting asked this question. I hate everyone!!!!!!!!!!
3 comments:
You know, I came across this article while I was reading your excellent Tarot posts, and I can entirely sympathise as my wife gets asked this all the time, and she has medical conditions (and medication) that make it very difficult to shift weight in this area, even when she eats next to nothing. We were house hunting recently, and were shown into the small bedroom by the (female) estate agent, at which point she said 'this would do for the nursery.' Both my wife and I looked very confused, and she continued, gesturing at my wife's belly, 'you know, the baby.' My wife simply said, 'Oh, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat.' That's her stock response, because, frankly, it just throws it back on the person who then has to react as if they were the one who called her fat. It's just incredibly insensitive, and it's ALWAYS women that say it. I find it hard to credit that people would be that stupid, but there you are. I guess I'm just trying to say - DON'T let it get you down. Some people know nothing.
Wow, thank you Neofish. I just looked at this today, March 21, 2013. Forgotten about this post, not the experience. Seriously, in 2009, I was asked this, on average, 3 times a week, EVERY week of that year. And that's just an average, sometimes it would be 3 times a day, twice in one hour. I quit that job, and just worked from home I was so embarrassed and ashamed. Still work from home, but now I work making porn and giving tarot readings through the porn site, lol. Turns out there's a market for a pretty girl with a big belly.
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